50+ stamps
20+ post cards
5 pairs of shoes
3 scarves
2 pairs of pants
1 dress
1 purse
lets just say a LOT of souvenirs & gifts
&&& most importantly, countless & priceless memories
That's what I have to show for those 65 days, I'm pretty content with that. I was told that after 6 weeks of living somewhere, that you stop feeling like a tourist and start to feel like you actually live there. I feel like that's true for me too. I haven't needed a map in Sevilla for at least a month and I have started to be more directional in control, I have been finding new little shortcuts to take, but I still like the main roads because the sights are prettier.
I also have notice that I don't feel so awkward in Sevilla either. I know that I will never look like a Spaniard, but I feel less conscious of how much I really stick out. I also noticed that I have been doing less research on things to do in Sevilla and look more at the ground where I am walking rather than the sights around me. I keep reminding myself to never take advantage this gift of a city I have in front of me.
All my friends are on spring break & making plans for housing and so I find myself a little more homesick than usual. Usually, I go home for a weekend or night every month and now that I physically can't do that, it makes me want to go home that much more. Friendships are starting to die down and slowly I notice less people are online to talk to or skype, the time change is the worse. But long distances can pull people apart & I am accepting that and so I am taking more of an effort to send postcards and/or shoot them a message.
I think my mom can tell I'm homesick because I start to call & email more, it's like that when I'm at college too, she's usually the one to end the phone call haha but I can't blame her, it costs money & we both have things to do! The time change is good in that way because it limits the phone calls to just Thursday & Sundays when she is most likely home.
I told my mom the other day that I was tired of traveling but she and my dad and some of my friends keep reminding me that I am living in a once of a lifetime experience that I need to take full advantage of, so I will not stop! It's so cheap, so come on how can I not? I am happy just touring Spain as I can still practice my Spanish. I notice that if I leave the country, I wish to just be back in Sevilla speaking Spanish, something I know! It's crazy that I don't miss English as much!
I speak less and less with my host mom since she is busy working so I have made more of an effort to meet with my two intercambios (exchange) and the intercambios of my friends, it's difficult but I always keep trying! I can tell that my Spanish has improved because I am more confident and talk more! I'm REALLY excited to meet with this lady next Tuesday about doing some volunteer work talking to the homeless, which is great because I love to serve & I can practice even more Spanish.
Lately, I have been doing some self reflection, finding my inter bearings, remembering when I did SOO much serving in high school and how I always found an excuse to not do it in college, when I have proven to myself here how much I can do while still putting my studies first. I am learning how to stand up for myself and more independent but still be considerate of others. I am also learning how to just let things go and be patient. I think that will be the best lesson to learn, because I like to be in control and to be "in the know" and I sometimes push people away but I am trying my hardest to relax. My mom keeps telling me to stop stressing out and worrying too much, I'm trying to listen!
My grand adventure is almost halfway over :( I'm super sad about that but also very happy with the way it is going thus far :) && I love that a lot of people are reading my blog, it makes me want to do it even more!
¡¡Muchos besitos!! (lots of little kisses!)
